Submission accepted!

What an honor! I've just been asked to be the Featured Scholar when my paper will be published in the Fall issue of UF's Journal of Undergraduate Research! Go here to see it now!

Looking back at this project months later has given me a fresh perspective on it while also recalling many important lessons. This is especially pertinent as my project relates to my experience in my first semester of graduate school. The project's concern of observing versus participating is ever-relevant as I work to be present while integrating new skills and ideas into my beginning counseling practices. It is one thing to learn about counseling skills, and another thing to embody them!

Personally I still struggle to be what I am lately calling "thin skinned," so that I am open to receive and be part of the world around me, particularly in emotions and body. I have noticed that as has been my habit, intellectually engaging is easier than the other more present-focused modes, but knowing that helps me to counter it by facing my "growth edges" instead of going with the immediate response. Realizing the importance of dance and my choreographic experiences has shown me that I'm in fact theoretically inclined towards a very present-focused therapeutic theory, Gestalt. Actually, rather than blogging now, I should be working on articulating my personal theory of counseling for a final paper.

Today this acceptance and honor has been a huge support as I continue to enthusiastically struggle to own and fully be who I am, to live that out prolifically. The process never ends!

...By the way, since you last heard from me I became a New York dancer, performing with my project mentor's company. Check out that story here: http://my2280pints.blogspot.com/! I'm the only future therapist I know who also lived and danced in the Big Apple!

ViewFinder Performance Video

Audience Photographs

Here are the photos taken by audience members during performances! I'm afraid some of the lighting didn't work out (I'm surprised, given the stage lights!) But what we do have gives us some good shots that reveal audience perspectives. Click for a full-view of each contact sheet. Apologies that the photos aren't larger. Even with a backer, the prices were higher than I expected and I barely had enough funding to get everything developed. I might ask Lydia to print a few favorites from the rolls of film later :)

I appreciate those of you who took the photos and any who are following up now to see them posted! Again, sorry about the delay- graduation and trying to get the paper on this project in a journal has me running like a mad person! Almost done!

Audience-photographer 1















Audience-photographer 2














Audience-photographer 3















Audience-photographer 4














Audience-photographer 5














Audience-photographer 6












Audience-photographer 7












Audience-photographer 8











Audience-photographer 9














Audience-photographer 10















I'll also try to get some of the files from Lydia's show photos! They were lots of fun :)
Again, thanks to all who were part of the development and performance of this piece!

Apologies!

Sorry the show photos aren't posted yet! I want you to see the fruit of our creative work, but first I have to be sure I'm graduating properly. Two more papers (including a deadline for this project's!) and an art project for a class to finish by tomorrow. Then I can do this!

Progress!

Rough draft done! Now to edit, edit, edit- and format it for submission- get feedback, and edit more. Then submit. I'm practically there, right? :)

Developing the photos was not cheap- thankfully my generous donor covered just enough that I think I'm breaking nearly even with everything. What's a few dollars for all this!

Looking at the photo thumbnails I ordered to show what's on the developed film rolls (so I might choose a few photos for Lydia to make prints of), I notice some distraction of audience members taking photos of friends- but I also recognize that this is their perspective! Interesting results! These, and photos from the seats are intermixed with closer photos of the piece of varying quality (about half are too poorly lit to show much- not sure what effect stage lighting/flash had on this). Somebody followed me around for a few shots, which entertains me- also, I didn't easily recognize my own photos from that day! There are some good ones in there, and I'll do my best to get them organized and posted up here soon (though possibly after I finish all my final projects in the next week)!

Paper writing

I woke up this morning and started writing. I'm up to the journal minimum of 1,500 words, and haven't even gotten to describe the performances yet- there's no lack of material here! Hope to finish a rough draft today and edit over the next two weeks til submission is due.

I'll also have a performance video to post before the month is out. :)

The film development cost a little more than I expected today, but thankfully I'm funded beyond my goal and I won't need to pay for the show DVD I promised my backer as I'd expected. Anyway, I'll scan and post the contact sheets for each roll of film this week when I get them back!

It was awesomeee! Thanks to all!

All done! Our final performance went off great- because I wasn't preparing to perform my solo today, I was able to be part of the crowd of lay-photographers. It was a blast, especially seeing the level of involvement from the audience members! There were people ranging in ages, from the younger siblings of a fellow dancer, to a woman who I've seen at every single show the department's presented, to other students and family members. I was about to ask people to take cameras just before the piece started, but found that they were all already taken- and as I led the way, the were all also used! In the end, only two cameras have gone missing, leaving me with 12 that were used across the performances. Maybe people got attached to theirs and will develop them on their own? I'm looking forward to having the film developed and getting CDs of the images to post here soon! I put labels with instructions and this blog site on it for the audience to find their photos, and I know one woman took the label with her (I hope you find it!) I wonder if we'll recognize our own perspectives...!


After a whole year of working on this project, it's incredible to have seen it come to such a great conclusion. I'll finally let my dancers see this site and reveal the underlying processes I tried not to jabber about too much in rehearsals. And with the great satisfaction of my experience of the piece today, I'm geared up to write about it. I've got a few final papers to write before my undergraduate experience ends, so maybe this is just the spur I need! Journal of Undergraduate Research, get ready! I'll be sending tonight's DVD to them and any who ask to see the piece :)

I also want to include a note of thanks to so many people who've helped me!

Thanks to my performers: To Marissa for being my guinea pig last semester and offering her gifts and sweet energy. To Molly for the same, and her perceptive feedback, questions, and perspective this semester. To Chelsea for sticking with me all year, even after I fumbled through my first semester of choreography, and for offering her willingness to share her beautiful improvisation anew each performance. To Camille for being a brave minor and auditioning and always taking my changes and requests so kindly- I hope you do everything you want to in this program, because you can! To Lydia for enthusiastically joining us with all her interest and willingness to engage!

Thanks to my teachers: To Neta for becoming my USP mentor when I asked a year ago, and for her questions, suggestions, rehearsal visits, extra conversations, and especially for encouraging me when I was afraid to break out of my proposal, but realized that's where it was going! To KO for her support through comp classes and for offering a kind word and genuine advice any time I've asked an opinion. To Andreas, for taking me into your lab and always being so kind and cheerful, for sharing your enthusiasm in my stretching of these two disciplines and offering me a connection to the inside scoop at CSEA.

To my fellow dancers, for accepting me as a pseudo-dance major, and for encouraging me to share myself in my solo, which is what kept me going through the challenges of this project.

Also, always thanks to my parents who encouraged me to dance in the first place and have always assumed I can accomplish anything I want to. Thanks to my friends and congregation members who came to the showcase to see my work!

by the way...

By the way, world- I realized I haven't mentioned the outcome of my nervous waiting to hear from my top grad school! I got in! I'll be returning to UF for its Counselor Education program next year to study Mental Health Counseling :D I also got a grad position with Housing, so I can look forward to continuing my exciting involvement there. I'm hoping to record all the good grad things to come at another blog (maybe these are addictive?)

Other thoughts include my total appreciation for the inclusiveness of the dancers I've spent the last few years with. I love being an honorary dance major- it warms the cookies of my heart how they always include me where I wouldn't assume to be included. In bows at tonight's show, they welcomed me into the line of choreographers, and the line of seniors to be recognized. My solo isn't an established work by a professional choreographer, but they've let me pretend it's on the level of their senior solos by allowing me to include it in the show. I'm realizing how involved I've been as a dance minor, that they look for me to continue to be involved as a grad (I hope so too!), and that they welcome me to their functions like the department potluck. The minors who are stage hands for their independent study were asking me about how I'm in the show when they found out I'm a minor too, and it made me see how unusual my involvement is. It's rare for any one but a major to take Comp classes to the highest level or to perform a solo in the showcase. I can't say how much I appreciate the warmth and encouragement with which this department has allowed me to do all these things, and has actively encouraged my growth with dance. I look forward to continuing to dance with these people as much as I'm able as a grad student. Yet another perk to getting into UF's program :)

Finally, a great quote I came across while doing education homework tonight: The cultivation of imagination is not a utopian aspiration (Eisner).

It's an Opening Day miracle!

Today I was going from class to class, ready to camp out in the dance building through West African til company warmup for the show- when into my inbox drifted the lovliest email! Someone supported my piece on kickstarter- a big thanks to my special donor for his generosity, which put me above my goal amount, and provided disposable cameras just in time for tonight's opening show! I zoomed over to WalMart and got 6 cameras for each show, and they were all used in tonight's performance! I feel like a real person within the community of artists, having such a supportive benefactor :) I'll be sending my new friend a DVD of the show and some other goodies as thanks. I had all but given up on kickstarter pulling though, so it was amazing good news.

That good omen carried through to a great performance tonight! The preshow ViewFinder performance was good- people at first hesitated to use the cameras onstage but with prompting from those who knew, they left their seats and joined. A small hitch of them retreating in the gap in the music can be fixed for tomorrow's show. The dancers were all over it- they've been great all along, and I'm glad to see this coming to production for them.

We also had a nice lobby art show display with a variety of Lydia's photos printed on transparencies, vellum, and photo paper. When I checked in on my table, they were mixed up- people had been using them and rearranging them like I'd hoped! All in all, a great opening night- my solo was the best performance yet, too, I think! Looking forward to night #2 tomorrow :)

Here's the teaser video for Program A! A tiny part of my solo is at 0:30, followed by some of ViewFinder :)

First Dress Rehearsal

We're in show week! The first dress rehearsal went well- technical kinks of lighting, sound, entrances/exits resolved. Now to define how to invite the audience to participate!... I'll ask the ushers to explain as they enter:

"The first piece is underway, and you are invited to participate. If you have a camera or phone camera, please join the dancers onstage by taking photos of your perspective in the piece."

There's also a note on this in the program. We'll try it this way on Thursday night to see if we get enough participants- if I need to, then I could make a more formal announcement the other days to encourage more.

I'm excited! I'll be printing Lydia's dress rehearsal photos to make the lobby display soon, too! After this, all that's left is to write it all up and submit to the Journal of Undergrad Research! So many exclamation points! Ah!

Here's the Facebook event with all the info you'll need to see the show!

Designer Unshowing: audience participation!

Here is the piece with audience participation!

I got some great feedback: people noticed themselves focusing in from a broad view to discovering details, they saw boldness in our photographer's interaction as a representative of the audience-participants, curiosity of the audience-photographers, and the closeness of the piece as a whole.

Possibilities include using photo shoot lighting (like umbrellas, bright lights), and having a system for audience members to upload the photos they take.

Here we used their own cameras and phone cameras, which was a great way to easily let them into the piece! The Kickstarter fundraiser isn't doing too well yet (thanks to my one backer!)so we may stick with this method.

Help Audience Participation

^^^ You can click this link for more info on the project and its funding.
Please consider donating to provide cameras for audience participation in this project! The message of choice between observation and participation is best delivered through audience involvement in performances!

Ready for the final unshowing!

Here it is- I think we're in our near-final form (though lacking audience participants here in rehearsal). A change of music, different costuming (Cheslea's dress will be gray covered in color emotional and IADS photos). All that's left is to define how I'll involve the audience through disposable cameras- as to just when I'll ask them to enter the stage to claim and use them. Fun fun!



I can finally say that I am absorbed in watching this, even though I've seen it so many times in and out of the studio. This, I love. (I say this every rehearsal and then change things, but this time, I feel that it's very close to love!) A few timing and specificity things to continue rehearsing, but that comes with time and I daresay we have just enough of that to make it work for Monday's last "designer" unshowing! Two weeks til the show- wowzers! :)

Nerves and vision

Another rehearsal today. Movement-wise I want to work on specificity with my dancers; other than that, I think we'll talk about the role of a few other changes and their opinions on that. Neta helped me come up with some cool ideas that I need to visualize to better integrate. There are so many possibilities and so little time to try them out, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed, but excited too. (Part of that probably has to do with the terrible suspense of a late response from my top grad school... yikes.)

Other ideas I'm chewing on include looking up wholesale disposable cameras to give to audience members during the performance, and I'm going to see about inviting them into a role onstage during the dance. Just what that role is and how to instruct and encourage them in it is what I need to envision. I think I'll develop contact sheets of the photos they'll take.

I'm also rethinking the costumes. Considering stitching photos of the piece or from IAPS onto Chels' dress, and dressing the two observers in clothes like my own (put-together contemporary conservative, aka pretty-nerdy).

I'm also asking Lydia about live-feeding her photos to a computer screen. That's where I need to consider technical concerns. Today is the production meeting, which is where they tell us "no" to technical requests and we push for compromises to do the ridiculous things we want to do :)

Maybe they'll also tell us what pieces are actually approved since adjudication on Monday...

Beginning the rough draft

Here goes... let's all pray technology doesn't do something horrible to me and try to dump the work I'm starting. I'll see if I want to post as I write. I definitely will be getting comments on this as it goes along, but we'll see what I can get out first on my own. It's a good start so far!

On a lunch break, I found this TED video by a spoken word poet who talks about putting herself into her art.

Notes from the Symposium

All that excitement, and it turned out to be so simple. I set up my board, hooked up my iPod, let the dancers dress and warm up, and off we went! A few people looked at the photo board while I set up but they didn't stay to ask questions- we were all distracted as the announcement for best paper and the performances approached. Someone announced the work for me, and they performed well (the camera flash didn't work, but nobody knew to miss it, and the lighting wouldn't have shown it off anyway, as there was none).

After asking for feedback, I'm thinking I need to introduce Camille before Chelsea, and change her position so that the audience relates more to her than to Chels. I got feedback that it appears that Camille wants to join Chels in the "chaotic" part, then she wants Chels to join her-- I want to rethink how we enact their meeting to clarify this movement together. It is always about Camille joining Chels. I may decide to structure that transition further, so that it is no longer purely improvised as the first part draws into the second. Neta also suggests that I put Lydia in Chels' face between the dancers taking some photos. That makes me think of a possible competition between Lydia and Camille to be closer to Chels in this part I'm considering rethinking. I also want to find an external measure for timing the improvised part. I might be able to find some kind of sound score still, which would also solve the problem of the suddenness of the music beginning the second part.

Good thoughts! Now, off to find that sound score and to imagine the definition of their competition and meeting as the first part works into the second.


ps- today I got accepted to UCF's Master of Arts in Counselor Education Mental Health Track! still waiting to hear from my top school, but this is a great option! I get to be a counselor!!

Super. Excited.

First video of this piece under it's new name, with all performers, mostly in costume, with the music by Mumford and Sons! yahooo!

And, looking at last year's paper I'm looking forward to writing my own. I finally feel like I can actually do this! (It only took a year! lol)

Awake, My Soul

"Awakening is followed by a new naming of self and reality that articulates the new orientation to self and world achieved through experiencing the powers of being."

-Carol P. Christ (emphasis included, and I like it)

Beautiful song- I want it!

Artist talks on the road

Just sound clips of me thinking out loud to myself/you about the piece as things fall together in the final week before the symposium. Don't mind if I jabber... and sorry if the audio's not great, but I was driving home from a grad interview.

On the title and personal involvement:

Symposium write-up and artist bio

Dance Performance: Naming

University Scholar – Stephani Babcock

Mentor – Neta Pulvermacher

Naming was choreographed by Stephani Babcock, a senior psychology major and dance minor. The research was inspired by stumli from UF’s Center for the Study of Emotion and Attention, which induce emotions in study participants through images, sounds, and text. Naming also features collaboration with UF photography student Lydia Challenger.

The research began with a goal to induce discreet, specific basic emotions in the audience through dance, developing into a need to first genuinely encounter the subject personally. The choreographer’s empathetic experiences as a crisis phone counselor replaced academic research. The work bridges the scientific and artistic perspectives by identifying what we see, and questions the value of objective understanding in the absence of personal understanding or meaning. Our dual abilities to observe or participate are contrasted among the performers’ roles including the photographer’s measurement and recording of the artistic process and each fleeting moment. The title Naming indicates identification and labeling, whether it be making distinctions between basic emotions, or identifying our methods of understanding them. Naming investigates the necessity of the personal encounter and engagement to the sharing of emotions, questioning where observation and scientific measurement fail and personal engagement must begin in order to genuinely understand and name the nature of a subject.

About the choreographer: Stephani Babcock is a senior psychology major and dance minor, striving to integrate her scientific and artistic perspectives through lessons learned in dance. She appeared in 2,280 Pints! and in an original solo in the BFA showcase last year; this year she presents her first group work, Naming, developed with the assistance of the University Scholars Program. After graduation, Stephani seeks to become a mental health counselor, which to her represents the ultimate melding of the art and science of personal growth.

Yikkeesss

Sorry, but this is a personal release blog, not a strictly project-focused one. Finished some homework. More homework to go. Crummy headache left over from food poisoning (feels like day 4 of a hangover that I didn't earn...) I'm feeling crunch time for the semester as a whole, my undergraduate life is coming to an end, and this project is closing in on me. I also don't know if grad schools want me yet. Prayers appreciated- I really want to go to grad school to be a counselor.

The show is in 9 days. I have 2 rehearsals, an unshowing, one more rehearsal, then the symposium show on a tiny stage with poor lighting and doubtable tech abilities. I'm not feelin it. I'm feeling parts of it, but not the whole "in it's final form" performance thing. I'm not ready for "final."

And the paper is due in 44 days; I haven't started writing, but this blog serves as a reservoir for material I'll use. It's not going to be exactly what I proposed, I need to confess. It will be about my personal process of realizing that I couldn't do what I set out to do. The process has been very interesting to me, and I'm just hoping I can convince others how valuable its realizations are. Looking at an example from last year's research journal, my topic is personal, but I'm maybe it relies too much on internal processes rather than external inspiration. Well- that's what I've got. I did do lots of research on emotions last summer, but that was soon outdated as I refined and realized what I would really choreograph. Now, the inspiration is largely internal, and comes from my connecting to my own emotions and my growth as a dancer and (hopefully) future counselor.

I'm sure I'll start to think of things once I start writing... I just need to get all this immediate stuff done for regular classes first.

So little time!

Great rehearsal yesterday! I had a grad school interview and food poisoning, but somehow that kicked me into high gear when we got started with less time to get things done. Our photographer was with us, too! With the semester winding down to a few weeks before I graduate, and before everything is due and I need to know what I'm doing after graduation, I'm feeling a time crunch! But I'm glad the piece continues to develop well, and I'm ever enjoying the process. That's what it's all about, after all!

Yesterday's changes include CM improvising "reading" the environment, and working on remembering parts of a script to keep with her for performances in other spaces. CT now follows and measures CM, and we'll refine that further tomorrow. She begins close to L, but gradually move closer to CM. L begins in a single location, but she narrows the scope of her photos as the piece moves along, by physically changing the distance between herself and CM.

I need to knit this in with what we've got from when CM and CT meet- I want to see if they should go together, or how they can make sense together. Also, what L's role is in the remainder of the earlier versions of the piece. I feel like the new material plus the passing-improv would fit well together. I'd regret losing the contact section, but I'm afraid it fits less in the piece. I'll have to look at these before tomorrow to decide if they should all go in, or if it's best to narrow the scope as JMS encouraged.


Next Friday is our show for the symposium! I'll need to check out the space and consider what kinds of lighting options we may have. I need to pull costumes from the shop; still thinking of colored sundresses for the two dancers and more muted shades for the photographer. Get music rights for whatever music I find (asap!) I liked the sound of the camera going in rehearsal yesterday... for music I'm feeling something acoustic with a soft vocal emphasis to create a sort of unobtrusive curious environment.

I think I'm at a point where I can speak about the piece in the presentation on Friday. As long as they accept that it has become about my personal process of learning to relate to and experience emotions, getting away from the quantifying that I originally set out to do... that'll be good.

The best things in life, I learned from dance

For a long time, I've been building confidence in the parallels between dance, life, and counseling/psychology. Here are some things that I think they have in common, which I've learned more through dance than through anything else... (in no particular order)

BE.
I used to be afraid to be. I still am sometimes, but I'm getting better at claiming my right and necessity to be.
Be you.
In being, I have to be genuine, myself.
Be present and aware.
Dance teaches us to actively take moments as they come, to experience what is happening now, and also to be able to relate it to what came before and to begin to consider what comes after. To appreciate dance, we need awareness of time, relationships, space, motion, emotions...
Be curious.
Childlike interest in the world leads us to be engaged and to ask questions. Don't take things at face value- or do sometimes. Curiosity is like contemplative interest that leads to action.
Be engaged.
Touch things, don't let the world pass you by. Get in there and do.
Ask questions, and live them.
Don't take the easy-out, consider and re-consider until you get to the depth of the thing. The meanings can be made personal by the process of questioning.
Be in process.
You may never arrive at the answer. Live that process and take it as it comes, because that experience is where the meaning derives from anyway.
Make shit, don't be precious.
Life is where the mess happens. Sometimes the mistakes are where realizations are made- plenty of inventions happen that way.
Make choices.
To paraphrase Viktor Frankl, in the spaces of life (or counseling or dance) we make choices, and these choices bring us to growth and freedom. We should know our options, and deliberately choose between them to suit our purposes.
Know the rules... and be able to break them.
Be aware of the guidelines, and choose when they work and when they might not. Some rules don't work all the time or for all people.
Take risks.
Don't stay in the safe zone- "everything we want is just outside our comfort zone." If we had it, we wouldn't be in want of it. Risk makes it real.
See connections, note patterns.
In dance, there are opportunities to connect ideas and note broader ideas composed of details. I think this is a skill in life in general- it is probably an important component of what we consider intelligence to be.
LET GO.
It doesn't need to be what you thought it was or should be. It will be what it is, let it be that and find the best in that.
Think differently, less, associatively.
When we stop thinking routine, we stop making routine. Associative thinking frees us from cognitive constriction and taps into creativity where we can be ourselves.
Trust- yourself and others.
They have important ideas, as do you. Don't be afraid to test yourself or to rely on them- physically and creatively. I am still growing in this area.
Be what you're about.
In art, form and function serve each other- it is a kind of all-out genuineness that refers to and strengthens itself by its unity. A person can do this too, as living itself can be an art.

Questions worth asking

I got some great advice after the unshowing this week. Visiting choreographer and movement analyst JoAnna Mendel Shaw generously spoke with me after a session of student feedback in comp class yesterday. For now, neglecting much of the feedback I got from others, I want to focus on what I got out of her advice to me.

I realized that my piece was very long at the time I showed. This meets my goal to create a lot so that I would have something to narrow down from. Now, I think that stage is over and it's time to make this "epic" into a haiku. Joanna talked about the logic of pieces: mine was switching logic and modes. I was using both measuring and feeling logics, and was switching temporal modes in what inspired different parts of the piece (memory/abstraction/aiming for present emotion). I clearly had several sections, and I agree with Joanna that each section could be its own piece. She encouraged me to focus in on an aspect of what I had, to make mini-pieces out of each section, or to generally cut down to the one I knew I wanted to focus on. While talking with her about how my intentions and inspiration relate to the piece, I began to realize what is motivating me and what parts of the piece actually speak to that.

I'm going to be eliminating most of the beginning (Trio A response phrases). It was helpful for me as an opportunity to practice defining how I wanted visual elements to be carried out by the dancers, but it does not have any emotional content as JMS pointed out. I knew I was getting caught up in "pretty" and I also want to move away from the wholly abstract mapping that it became. I was not very far from what I attempted to do last semester with similar mapping. It was a logic of measuring. I can use this, but not in the way the piece is now. I think I might use this idea of measuring to portray for a short time where one of my characters is coming from: she will represent the scientist in me, before becoming personally involved in the world of emotions.

Meanwhile, the language of emotions will be the focus of the other character and will draw the measuring character in. When the scientist meets the feeler, the feeler will ask "do you hear me?" drawing the scientist into that world of feeling. The piece will continue from there with their meeting and growing connection. The scientist will learn to bear the emotionality of the feeler, and may begin to share (weight) back. This will be the contact-heavy part of what I've shown, with some adjustments to answer questions of who is bearing whom.

The photographer, at the moment, I see as an extension of the scientist. As they are both measuring, she will methodically take images. As the scientist moves in, the images will also zoom in. As the scientist begins to feel, though, the photography will become more interpretive and involved and spurred. I want to figure out how to make it clear that the photographer is drawn in and no longer an outsider. It will represent the level of involvement that can be achieved by the scientist. In a way, maybe the fact that I feel like she may not be able to show full involvement will demonstrate the part of the scientist that will forever be disconnected at least a little through observation. I think now that finding a way to show a live feed of the images would be interesting

(Just to note, I don't think I'm considering the environment aspect of it so much. No more blocks. The setting will be something else... TBD. Maybe the CSEA lab or the CC.)

It's interesting, because I've heard lately about how psychologists are supposedly disconnected and not personal with others. I hadn't heard that stereotype until fairly recently, and I rejected it until I kept hearing it- it started to get to me. I know that I personally have been working on connecting more with others, and I've become better at sharing that understanding- an important aspect of true empathy. So how is it that people believe that counselors are unfeeling? My training says otherwise, as does my personality, given my career goal.

I'm considering my scientist/feeling self as I think of this dance now. Rather than narrow it to only one of these languages as JMS suggested, I believe for me it's necessary to acknowledge them both. But one will be the focus, the other must still have it's hints of presence. This duality is why this project came about for me. Rather than abandon it in the effort to focus, I can take it into consideration and use it as I focus.

Welcome the fabulous Neta!

My mentor and comp teacher, Neta, made it to my latest rehearsal, and she had some great advice that really cleaned up and amplified a few parts of the dance- it's starting to look like a real thing for a real show! (Good thing, too- there's an Unshowing next Monday, and our first performance on March 25th!)

With Neta's help, we added traveling to better use the space, and asked for a sense of deliberateness with the dancers to clarify movements. Personally, I feel I'm getting much stronger at giving clear and assertive directions to mold what I want of the piece, and Neta provided me more example along those lines with her help. Before she arrived, the dancers and I extended the duet moments in the middle to feature more reliance on each other. For the last part, I used a hairpin hidden on one of them as the object for my dancers to find and transport, for more novelty with that improvisation. We also used some music by Explosions in the Sky which worked out great. Here's the video from before most of our improvements (we went over time, so I didn't record at the end!)



We plan to have a different rehearsal time next week so out photographer can be with us. Visiting choreographer Joanna Mendel Shaw is sitting in on my comp class' rehearsals, and there's a chance she can make this time (otherwise there are unfortunate time conflicts and I'll be left out of that benefit...)

Brain music

Here's some interesting music my research professor from the CSEA lab told me about- it's made from EEGs!
I'm thinking it might be interesting to use this in contrast to emotional movement. We could develop our movements with emotional music, then replace it with this for performances.
The five brain piece is good, and the sleeping music is even more interesting, and there are some very intriguing sounds on the learning process one!

Here's the story

I'm going to try to type this up for editing purposes... plus its really fun for me to imagine this all at once :) As of now, here's how I see things progressing, and I have phrases for the majority of these sections.


As the lights fade up, there is a set of semi-transparent colored screens of irregular rectangular shapes scattered on different planes and at different heights within a central part of the stage area (hopefully to be viewed in the round). The dancers are at the edges of this environment, on opposite sides of it, and the photographer is barely noticeable at the edge of the larger performance space- their role in relation to the piece begins as questionable.

The dancers (two, now- but more would be fine or good) enter from opposite ends of the labyrinth environment, tracing their own seemingly novel paths towards a common experience. Resonance seems to accidentally occur between them along the way, and they are only aware of themselves and their immediate surrounding- if even that much. They move towards the center gaining focus, at their own pace. When they arrive, they are facing where they came from, not where they are going. The photographer hovers around where the dancers began, at the edge of the labyrinth.

Together in the central space, the dancers end up back-to-back, and their movements ("babydoll" phrase) begin to align and coincide. They start to have opportunities to develop awareness of each other as they enter each others' range of vision from their back-to-back position- their bubbles are being entered. With an "anxious-ambivalent" nervousness, when this happens and their awareness is intruded upon or they are touched, they withdrawl back into the comfort of their own space and facing. The photographer enters and withdrawals during this section. As this continues to happen, their gaze solidifies into meeting of eyes; the familiarity of their movements begins to merge into one world and they understand each others' movements as their own. The photographer is able to stay closer to them, is becoming drawn into the movement and the audience sees her role as distinctly part of the piece.

When this happens, they mature together. (Incidentially, the "saltyface" phrase here is based on a more mature topic for me.) They are not doing identical movements, but each is their own contributor to the whole movement. They are aware of each other, getting to know each other more deeply through this cooperation and interplay. From their meeting point, their relationship grows and develops, expanding what it holds and refers to- deepening in understanding each other ("saltyface" exploration). They curiously, tentatively explore each other in their new intimacy and understanding, beginning to move away again from the central meeting point, but together to a new place (paper-passing). Here, the photographer is very close, practically part of the dancers' process.

The photographer can't continue observing at this point- she has to become involved. This is the point where the artist and art meld, and where the observer embodies the emotion. Before she can follow this urge, the photographer pairs with an audience member, taking them into the performance space, just to the edge, and begins sharing the photographic process (through movement only). The camera is passed on to an audience member, and the photographer reenters the main of the space, joining with the dancers on their way to the core of the environment. The new camera-holder is left to consider how they, as a representative of the audience, will carry on the process of capturing and understanding emotions/the dance. As the lights fade shortly after this transition, it is left for us to consider accepting the invitation to follow the original photographer's path of understanding and involvement in the scene.

Installation setups of the environment or the piece itself provide interesting options to extend this idea of the audience's role.

Rehearsal and meeting our photographer!

Another good rehearsal: we learned phrases that I created while watching Rainer's Trio A, and developed them into a way of moving through a labyrinth that we created with tape on the floor. I have some video from when we stood gym mats up as blocks towards the end- choices I experimented with included taking cues and inspiration from the other dancer, and when traveling could occur. I may post some of this video. What I really enjoyed was seeing the movement take so well- I hadn't put much into it, as it came from selecting bits of a 10-minute improv, but love the look of it as the three of us moved together. It's something I'm eager to mold to the choices and layering I'm beginning to make.

After rehearsal, I sat outside in the sun and began writing out a sort of storyline that got me really excited (to be posted soon). It's unfinished because I was actually waiting to meet with our photographer, L., and we had a good time sharing our interests! She showed me some of her work, including ideas that I've also experimented with like the blurring of movement. She asked what I imagined her role being, and at this point, I see her as moving from the fringe of the piece to within its center, and possibly becoming a dancer within the movement towards the end. In her photography, I want to see what draws her more trained eye before I begin defining things- my plan is to offer challenges and make choices along the way like I do with the dancers. In this way, I hope we can begin to feed on each others' creativity to build things up and make the most of this photography opportunity.

The timing doesn't work out to have L at our regular rehearsals, but fortunately I work with awesome people who are willing to meet at other times to make it possible to rehearsa all together some. It works out fine that way, as much of the rehearsal time won't need L present anyway- I want her role to be fresh, and not to wear her out with the same subject all the time anyway. Her role is more in the performances and some particular rehearsal opportunities that I'll choose for prep purposes. I was really glad to hear how excited she is to be part of our piece, and it's going to be great to have her as a resource and member of the "company!"


Note to self: post the videos of the Trio A response phrases for dancers

Rehearsal Mon Feb 14

Thanks to my dancers for being with me on Valentine's Day!
For a short time, we thought we'd have a third, but alas no- I'm at a point where I'm fine with two now. We do have a photographer who I'm meeting with on Wednesday, though!

I combined elements of phrases we've worked with to follow a developing relationship between my dancers. I haven't completely imagined the introduction that will precede these videos, but here's what we worked on in rehearsal today...


There's a small connecting bit missing in my video records, followed by this...


I'm imagining now the environment as solid-colored plastic tablecloths suspended in the air as different sized vision-blocks. Not sure about the practical end of that, however...