My mentor and comp teacher, Neta, made it to my latest rehearsal, and she had some great advice that really cleaned up and amplified a few parts of the dance- it's starting to look like a real thing for a real show! (Good thing, too- there's an Unshowing next Monday, and our first performance on March 25th!)
With Neta's help, we added traveling to better use the space, and asked for a sense of deliberateness with the dancers to clarify movements. Personally, I feel I'm getting much stronger at giving clear and assertive directions to mold what I want of the piece, and Neta provided me more example along those lines with her help. Before she arrived, the dancers and I extended the duet moments in the middle to feature more reliance on each other. For the last part, I used a hairpin hidden on one of them as the object for my dancers to find and transport, for more novelty with that improvisation. We also used some music by Explosions in the Sky which worked out great. Here's the video from before most of our improvements (we went over time, so I didn't record at the end!)
We plan to have a different rehearsal time next week so out photographer can be with us. Visiting choreographer Joanna Mendel Shaw is sitting in on my comp class' rehearsals, and there's a chance she can make this time (otherwise there are unfortunate time conflicts and I'll be left out of that benefit...)
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I'm glad to have constructive feedback to benefit my project.