Monday, November 29, 2010
As a personal rule, I don't like to totally reject anything I create, but I'm leaning towards really really setting aside what I did this semester, and getting out in a new path to finish this project out more effectively. I'll also have the guidance and structure of a final composition class to help me better use the resources of fellow dancers to form my mini-company for this coming semester.
My other ideas lately are to take dance-sketches from this semester's class and develop them into portraits of how I personally have experienced certain basic emotions. I've got leads for several of these, and need to stop waiting for the ideal studio time, and just work it out.
I was still processing, with too much emphasis on the stillness. The energy is building back up now, and I'm getting ready to move again.
Friday, November 19, 2010
What are the processes of an emotion? For me…
Anger- when I am angry, I clam up, get flustered, feel anxious inside and it comes out in a jumble, I try to turn to someone who will understand while avoiding the person or situation that I’m angry at, I want to change it, know I need to change myself too, but feel that there is some force blocking me and us from making the right things happen
Sadness- when I am sad, I feel down, useless, very very alone and unwanted, I hide myself and wallow while part of me tries to talk myself out of it, I wonder how it happened, when it will end, I regret, I crunch up and cry, I want to burrow and disappear and not burden anyone
Happiness- when I am happy, I feel expansive and joyful, ready to go out and take on the world and show them who I am and what I can do, I want everyone to feel alive with me, I want to move around in big ways and be everywhere at once, I feel like it will last forever but even if it won’t I feel great that it’s happening even for the moment, I see the good in everything even difficult things and I hope others can see the good too
Fearful- when I am afraid, I hide, I stay very still or sneak away very quickly and softly, or I may become extremely anxious and my thoughts become circular and I have to talk myself out of it and force myself to breathe and think clearly, I do useless things and feel ineffective at what needs to be done to help myself, I feel helpless and lost
Disgusted- when I am disgusted, I avoid confronting what it is, I try to say away from it and put space between it and me, I try not to let my reaction offend but I also try to protect my own needs and comfort